Thursday, August 9, 2007

rebuttal to 'Call for Shopping Help' post

It's Spencer again--Please, please no one reply to my dear wife's post from earlier today. The last thing we need is porcelain blue bedding. What she meant to say is we want COUGAR blue bedding with beautiful little 'Y's tastefully splashed across it.

On a more serious note, I'm sitting in the Layton Instacare right now working (typing a few words in between seeing patients) and I want to get a few thoughts out there to the general public. First of all, if your nose is runny, it's not an emergency. Wipe gingerly from left-to-right, take an aspirin, and call your regular doctor in the morning. Or better yet, suffer through your cold like the rest of us and guess what? Within a week or so you'll feel all better.

Second, if you find your infant child face down in the bathtub and you have to resuscitate him with mouth-to-mouth, don't come to the Instacare several hours later. Go to the ER immediately. Don't even wait around to kick your own hinie for being the idiot that left that infant long enough to get in that predicament. The hinie kicking will come later, after the child is found to be OK, by a loving spouse or friend from the child protection agency.

Third, if you're hooked on narcotics and need a fix, don't come in to the same Instacare you've already been three times in the last week. Chances are, we'll have a record of those visits and know you've already gotten more than your fair share of fix.

Finally, if you're dealing with a medical issue that has been going on for SEVERAL MONTHS and is NOT getting acutely worse TONIGHT, don't come to an Instacare. Chances are if you've waited this long, you can wait a little longer to get in to your regular doctor who knows and loves you and can better deal with your long-standing problem.

Wow, wasn't that an upbeat post? Of course the above is filled with a little sarcasm, but truthfully, I really do love what I do, and I'm happy to help, even if you just have a little cold. I have been very blessed with a profession in which I can serve others. I love it!

And don't forget not to reply to Molly's post.

5 comments:

Sunni said...

Thanks for making me laugh!

The Jonas Family said...

You sound a little like Mike! When I or the kids get sick I want to take them to there doctor or give them medicine, but he rather us suffer through it. I have a head cold now that I have to deal with. Yuck! Any advice. j/k

Jocee Bergeson said...

Ha Ha! I'm the exact opposite of all the parents you talk about...it takes a major disaster for me to think it warrants a trip to the Dr. Even then, it's you or my Dad! :)

The Jonas Family said...

you know I always feel better when mike is around when one of the kids get hurt, but then I sometimes questions or go against what he offers and I want a second opinion. He is usually right though, unless mothers intuition.

Spencer Five said...

Spencer!!!! Justin would never post on our blog! That was awesome. So are you saying I should not take my plantar fasciatis, which I've had for about 4 months, to instacare?
P.S. Everyone knows the color for bedding is crimson red.